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This is to isillyme who wrote on 2-23-03 about her husband addicted to porn. I hope you get this message, because the message you posted is closed. I have struggled with sex addiction for many years, since I was a teen. Sex addition is real and it will not get better until he gets help. One of the things that fuels the addiction is the secrecy of the addiction. I am a sex addict, and I would rather have told someone I was a heroin addict than this. And so you keep your secret and it gets worse and worse, until you either get caught in some horrible embarrassing situation, get arrested for some misdemeanor, or worse, or you get some sexually transmitted disease. Trust me, it only gets worse unless you get help and you can not, no matter how much you promise yourself, you can not stop on your own. He need to do two things, to start with: (1) get a councilor that specializes in sex addition. Not all councilors know about it, so do not waist your time and money with someone who has no expertise in the area. In his first session with his councilor, tell him or her absolutely everything, no matter how embarrassing. First, he has already heard it before, so he will not be shocked. Second, that is the first step, admit to yourself and God, that you are helpless and then confess your situation to someone else. It will not cure him in and of itself, but he will not believe how he will feel. Its like a new start. He still have a long road, but it is a start. Also, you should get some counciling as well, with a different councilor, but again, someone who knows and understands the addiction. (2) he needs to get in a group. There is SA (Sex addicts anonymous) or SLAA (sex and love addicts anonymous) in most towns. I am in SLAA, and I will be going to meetings for the rest of my life. By the way, there are both men and women, heterosexual and homosexuals in the group. Its all the same. And if someone is heterosexual, but act out, as they call it, in some homosexual type of activity or look at homosexual porn, that does not necessarily mean you are gay or Bi, or lesbian. It is just more of the addiction. It is a lot like drugs and alcohol in that, what gets you off in the beginning, later becomes ordinary and you keep looking for something more….hard core, I guess I would call it.
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